


Boredom, Mistletoe and a Bathroom

by niccisterls



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-02
Updated: 2018-01-02
Packaged: 2019-02-27 07:49:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13243779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/niccisterls/pseuds/niccisterls
Summary: It's Christmas at Hogwarts and Sirius is bored. Which never ends well!





	Boredom, Mistletoe and a Bathroom

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic that I've ever written. Hope you all enjoy it and I look forward to reading all your feedback!

Sirius was bored. It was Christmas Eve, Peter had gone home for the Christmas holidays after receiving a very vague owl from his parents saying there was a family emergency and he was required at home. James was in an armchair in front of the fire with Lily in his lap, they were snogging enthusiastically, which was all they had done so far these holidays. Sirius threw a vomit flavoured Every-Flavour Bean at them, mainly because he didn’t want to eat it but also, he thought it was a perfect metaphor. They didn’t seem to notice the bean, even though it struck James directly on the cheek. Remus was reading, again. He had borrowed a stack of books from the library yesterday and Sirius was almost certain that he was already on his second read through of them.

Sirius sighed out of boredom. Being bored was never a good thing in his opinion. “Moony, I’m bored,” he whined. 

Remus just looked up and smiled at him before returning to his book. He sighed again before unwinding himself from his armchair, he walked over and plonked himself down (with great difficulty due to the entangled limbs) onto Lily’s lap. This finally caused them to pull apart, they looked at him with twin expressions of exasperation. 

“Prongs, I’m bored. Let’s go see what Snivellus is doing.” Lily’s exasperated expression turned stony at once and she shoved Sirius off her lap onto the floor. 

“Evans! What was that for?” Sirius exclaimed as he picked himself up. James could see that Lily was working up a full head of steam and if he didn’t head it off, he wouldn’t be getting snogged for a good long while. 

“Why don’t we leave Sniv… Uh, I mean Snape, alone, in the spirit of Christmas and all.” Lily was looking adoringly at James while Sirius just looked disgusted.

“You’ve gone soft mate,” he stated. James didn’t hear him, Lily was whispering in his ear.  
Sirius would usually try Peter next but he wasn’t here. He looked over at Remus, he was absorbed in his book, light brown hair dishevelled as usual and the always present bags standing out against his pale skin. Sirius decided that Remus needed to have some fun. A cheeky grin came over his face as he decided to use the same distraction technique as before, but step it up a notch. He swaggered over to Remus, knocked the book out of his hands and draped himself over Remus’ lap while he entwined his arms around the other boy’s neck. Remus looked up at him, entirely confused.

“Pads, what are you doing? I was reading that.” Even confused and probably slightly annoyed at the interruption, Remus’s voice sounded nothing but patient. 

“I know Moony, but I’m so bored. Come for a walk with me? Please?” As Sirius spoke he was gently playing with the hair at the nape of Remus’ neck. He hadn’t meant to take it this far but his hair was so soft and Remus didn’t seem to notice, if he did notice he obviously didn’t mind. Remus just stared at the grinning boy for a minute before sighing. 

“Alright fine, let’s go. But we are leaving Severus alone.” Sirius pouted but quickly jumped up from his perch on Remus anyway.

“Let me go and get my supplies,”he shouted as he ran up the stairs. 

“Wait! What supplies?” he heard Remus call after him. Sirius bounded back downstairs with his bag stuffed full of mistletoe. Remus was looking at him accusingly.

“Never you mind Moony. It’ll be fun though, I promise. Come on! Let’s go!” They started to walk towards the portrait hole when he heard James and Lily speaking behind him, 

“Hey look! A toffee Every-Flavour Bean!”

“Oh no James, don’t eat that, there’s no guarantee it’s toffee, and it’s been on the floor.” There was a small silence then the sound of James gagging, Sirius was laughing so hard that he fell through the portrait hole instead of climbing through.

***************

Remus trailed behind Sirius as he bounded his way through the halls, apparently looking for something specific. Even though it was their seventh year at Hogwarts, Remus was still amazed by all the decorations that came out for Christmas. Wreaths and tinsel everywhere. The suits of armour singing Christmas carols and if the teachers were feeling particularly festive (which they apparently were this year) they charmed icicles to hang from the banisters. Of course, whenever the icicles were out Peeves took great pleasure in breaking them off and hurling them at unsuspecting students. Thankfully they were charmed to grow back and once the teachers got wind of what Peeves was doing, they also added a charm to cause the icicles to melt at an alarming rate once they were broken off.

Sirius had finally stopped at what seemed like a random corridor on the second floor, but Remus knew it was a corridor that was commonly used by the Gryffindor’s, Ravenclaw’s and Hufflepuff’s to get to the Great Hall. Sirius was looking around as if assessing the area for something and nodded before putting his bag down.

“‘Sirius, what are you doing?” Remus was getting slightly worried. The fact that the Slytherin’s never used this corridor during the holidays meant that they were spared for the time being, which was never good. It usually meant Sirius had something worse in store for them later.   
“Mistletoe, Moony!” Tthat did not clarify things for Remus, in fact he was even more confused.   
“What about Mistletoe?” Sirius just grinned and upturned his bag, an astronomical amount of mistletoe fell out of it onto the ground. Remus was still confused. “Where did you get all that from and what are you planning to do with it?” 

Sirius was practically vibrating with excitement. “I know a guy,” was all he said before he picked up the first piece of mistletoe. “I need your help Moony, or this is going to take me all night!’

Remus picked up a piece of the plant and studied it. “In order for me to do that Pads, you need to tell me what it is we’re doing.”Sirius just looked at him before he cast a bunch of charms onto the mistletoe he was holding. Remus understood immediately, the charms were extremely complicated and when combined the way they were, would cause the mistletoe to float without someone holding their wand on it, and trap anyone that walked too close to it. He was still unclear on one point. 

“What’s the point of trapping someone, and how do they get out Pads?” Sirius grinned maniacally at him. 

“Well first of all, not just someone, two someone’s. Second, to get free, they have to kiss. Simple!” That was actually quite clever Remus decided, it was going to piss a LOT of people off. He looked down at the giant pile of mistletoe.

“You can’t leave all of that in this one corridor. It would be an overload.. As soon as you got free of one you would get trapped in another one.” Remus thought for a second. “Why don’t you add a ‘Locomotor’ charm to the mix and cause them to float around the entire castle? Then no one is safe,” Remus grinned. A good majority of the school thought he didn’t participate in any of the Marauder’s pranks, when in actual fact he was the one that usually took the original idea and made it bigger and better.

Remus was stunned when Sirius jumped on him and just about squeezed the life out of him with a giant hug. He stumbled backwards and fell, ending up laying on the ground with Sirius straddling his waist and still attempting to cut off his air supply with the hug. Remus was a bit surprised, he had never been this close to Sirius before, it felt quite nice. Sirius’ body was all hard lines and muscle. Remus lost control of his mind for a moment and ended up running his hands up and down the strong contours of Sirius’ back. He froze when his mind returned and he realized what he was doing, Sirius sat up and smiled at him with what could only be described as a devilish expression on his face. Remus blushed as he gently pushed Sirius from his body and stood up. He cleared his throat before speaking.

“Since we no longer need to be in this exact corridor to charm the mistletoe, we should do this somewhere we won’t get caught.”

Sirius looked around. “Good idea Moony, come on I know where to go.”  
Remus knew where to go, too, but decided to let Sirius lead the way. He found himself studying Sirius’ body as he followed him. He was so invested in his observations that when Sirius stopped in front of the tapestry with a hidden corridor behind it, Remus ran straight into him. His hands flew to Sirius’ waist in an effort to stop himself from falling down again. He just narrowly avoided smacking his chin into the back of the shorter boy’s head by quickly turning his own head to the side. He stumbled back as Sirius turned around and winked at him, he realised he still had his hands on Sirius’ waist and pulled his hands away as if they were burned. 

“Come on, Moony, we have a lot of work to do. We can grope each other later if you really want,” Sirius said with another wink before disappearing behind the tapestry. Remus had no idea what was happening, and worse, he wasn’t sure if he wanted it to stop.

***************

Sirius could tell that Remus was flustered. It was taking him two tries to get some of the charms that were second nature to him at this stage of his education. Sirius had known for a long time that he was attracted to Moony, it was hard not to be, he was insanely gorgeous with his dishevelled brown hair, piercing green eyes and the quiet yet confident way he went about everything he did. He was wonderfully intelligent and if he decided to, he would give him and Prongs a run for their money in the prank department.

He never thought that Remus might possibly return that attraction until this afternoon. He had seen a flicker of interest in his eyes after they had fallen over during Sirius’ enthusiastic hug and had felt his eyes burning holes in him during the walk to their current hiding spot. He figured he couldn’t push too fast or he could scare the other boy off. On the other hand, now that he knew he might have a chance, nothing was going to stand in the way of him pursuing it. He decided to put these thoughts out of his mind while they were finishing the prank. He would figure out the best way to approach this later.

It took the boys two hours to finish charming all the mistletoe, during which Peeves flew past the tapestry they were hiding behind, singing,  
“Jingle Bells, Batman smells,  
Robin flew away,  
Father Christmas lost his knickers  
On the motorway. Hey!”  
no fewer than eight times. 

By the third time, Sirius was getting annoyed. The fifth time, Sirius remarked, “He really needs to learn some new songs.” The last time, he snapped. He ripped the tapestry back and started yelling at Peeves to shut up and find something else to do, this just caused Peeves to sing louder and stay right where he was, it wasn’t until Remus shot a well-aimed “Langlock” at him that he finally left. 

“You know all you’ve succeeded in doing there is pissing Peeves off, don’t you? Once his tongue un-sticks he’s likely to follow you around for hours on end singing that song.” Sirius shrugged, he did in fact know this, he had let his temper get the best of him.

“I’ll figure out a way to shake him off eventually, or to annoy him right back so that he leaves me alone.” Remus just shook his head. He for one did not want to be around if Sirius and Peeves got into another a who-can-annoy-each-other-the-most contest.

Once the mistletoe was charmed, it had to be released into the castle. So once again the two set off wandering the castle but this time stopping every now and again to release some mistletoe into the area. Sirius was contemplating how to pursue things with Remus when they walked past the entrance to the Prefect’s bathroom on the 5th floor. That made him forget all about his pursuit and remember something he had been meaning to try for weeks now. 

“Moony, Prongs has been boasting about how amazing the Prefect’s bathroom is all year, you couldn’t let me in to have peek could you?” he put his most pathetic expression with his biggest puppy dog eyes on while he looked up at the taller boy. 

Remus snorted. “You know they puppy dog eyes don’t work on me Pads. I’m not letting you in there just so you can one-up James. You know how much trouble we would both be in if we got caught.” Sirius spent the next ten minutes pleading, whining, cajoling and trying to bribe Remus into letting him into the bathroom with no success. Obviously he had set his mind to it and nothing Sirius could do was going to change it. For now.

***************

The next morning Sirius and Remus managed to pry James and Lily apart long enough to convince them to open their presents and then all go down to eat breakfast together. As soon as they left the common room they were assaulted by the loud screechy voice of Peeves singing “Jingle Bells, Batman smells” repeatedly. It was so loud he was basically shouting instead of singing. Remus just smirked at Sirius. 

“I told you so.” James and Lily had their hands clamped over their ears trying to block out the hideous singing. 

“Black, what did you do?” Lily demanded of him.

“I lost my temper over this ridiculous song yesterday and yelled at him.” Lily just sighed while James roared with laughter.

“Have you really not learnt that lesson in your 7 years of school?” Lily was raising Sirius’ hackles with her autocratic tone.

“Obviously not. Now come on let’s go to breakfast. Just ignore him,” Sirius snapped as he stalked away.

They reached the Great Hall much faster than usual thanks to the motivation Peeves was providing. He showed no signs of leaving them alone while they went in to eat, so Sirius pulled out the big guns.

“The Bloody Baron isn’t going to appreciate your choice of entertainment, Peeves.” 

Peeves just blew a giant raspberry at them and said, “I distracted him earlier. He won’t interrupt my brilliant concert just yet.” He then flipped upside down and started shout-singing again.

They all walked into the Great Hall with Peeves in tow and the few people that had stayed behind for the holidays immediately clamped their hands over their ears and swivelled to look at the group, searching for the source of the noise. Once they sat down and it became clear that Peeves was not going to leave, most of the students took their breakfast and left as fast as they could. McGonagall managed to last five minutes before she descended upon the Gryffindor table and told the group that if they couldn’t make Peeves leave then they needed to take their breakfast to go before she went completely batty.

The group of four were halfway back to the common room when an idea finally came to Sirius, he started scream-singing a different song over the top of Peeves.  
“We three kings of Leicester Square  
Selling ladies underwear  
So fantastic, no elastic  
Only tuppence a pair!”

He vaguely heard Lily groan and James snort before he ramped up the volume some more. Peeves kept competing for volume until he finally heard what Sirius was singing and stopped to listen to the words. Sirius figured that since Peeves had stopped singing he could as well, except that as soon as he did, Peeves just started up again, so Sirius continued to sing his song. Peeves watched him intently for 3 more rounds of the song then cackled loudly and zoomed off, presumably to torture someone else.

James was the first to speak. “Thank Merlin for that! I mean we all love you Pads, but there’s only so much-” James had stopped talking, seemingly in the middle of his sentence. Sirius turned around to see what had happened and saw James standing with his hands out feeling around looking like a Mime, while Lily stood beside him looking confused. Sirius automatically looked up and saw some of his charmed mistletoe floating over their heads, holding them hostage. Sirius grabbed Remus’ arm and pointed to the mistletoe, they both burst out laughing. Lily had evidently seen Sirius pointing and had noticed the mistletoe for herself.

“‘Is this what you two were off doing for hours yesterday?” when her question was answered with more laughter from the two boys she figured she wouldn’t get any information out of them, so she tried the most logical thing and kissed James.

As soon as the kiss was over, the mistletoe let James and Lily go and floated away. James looked at Sirius and Remus. “That was brilliant! Why didn’t you ask me to help? I’m hurt!” James tried his best to put on a pouting face but couldn’t quite manage it over the grin. 

“Well you were a little busy, Prongs. I tried to get you to come help me but you didn’t want a bar of it,” Sirius answered him with a smirk. He had been successfully dodging the mistletoe all morning, even with the distraction of Peeves. During the rest of the walk back to the common room, James “accidentally” stumbled into the mistletoe traps with Lily three more times. Sirius had slid his arm over Remus’ shoulders during the walk back and no one had said anything about it. Once they got back to the Tower, he was forced to remove his arm to allow Remus to climb through the portrait hole, much to his dismay.

***************

Sirius spent the day being quite bored again while Remus read and James and Lily cuddled and snogged some more. Sirius used his boredom to alternately see how far he could push his flirtation with Remus and try to convince the other boy to let him see the Prefects bathroom. He hung over the back of the couch and pressed his cheek to the other boys, to “read” Remus’ book. He used this opportunity to whisper in his ear. 

“Come on Moony, just a little peek into the bathroom. I promise I’ll just look and I won’t tell anyone!” 

Remus just smiled and shook his head which caused strands of his hair to blow across Sirius’ face. Sirius went rigid. His hair smelled like musk and chocolate. The scent was just completely Remus and so potent that Sirius had to straighten up and readjust his jeans.

When he got tired of standing, he lay down on the couch with his head in Remus’ lap. He was able to stare up at him through the space between him and the book, every few minutes he would say things like, “Please, Moons?” and “Come on, Moony, live dangerously!” After a little while of this he fell asleep. 

When he woke, he sat up and pulled Remus down to lay on him, which allowed him to run his fingers through Remus’ hair. He caught Lily giving him a few strange looks throughout the morning but no one said anything and it seemed like Remus was too absorbed in his book to pick up on what Sirius was doing.

Every time the group ventured out of Gryffindor Tower, which was only for meals, Sirius and Remus made sure to dodge the charmed mistletoe and James made sure to get trapped with Lily. They had just finished eating dinner at the Christmas feast and were walking back to the tower when it happened. James had gotten himself and Lily trapped again and had given her a truly indecent snog to get free. Lily was bright red and James was smirking when they caught up with Sirius and Remus again. 

“Oi! Why didn’t you wait for us?” James didn’t sound like he truly cared so Sirius made a face at him. 

“Well we didn’t know how long you were going to stand there eating Evans’ face.” 

James’ smirk became positively filthy as he replied, “Lily loves it when I eat her though.” 

Lily looked shocked and smacked James’ arm. “Watch it, Potter!” she growled at him.

“Yeah, Potter, watch yourself. You wouldn’t want to have your snogging privileges revoked now, would you?” Sirius teased James by making kissy faces after his comment. James shoved Sirius, hard, which caused him to fall into Remus and the two boys stumbled a few steps before managing to stay upright, Sirius turned around and went to lunge at James, but as he moved he slammed into what felt like an invisible wall. Dazed and seeing stars from the hit to the head he barely realised that Remus was holding him upright, it took a few seconds for him to come back to his senses, but when he did he noticed two things at once. James was roaring with laughter somewhere to the side and Remus was watching him, his green eyes swimming with concern.

Sirius groaned. “What the hell was that?” He wanted to see what James was doing but that would involve moving out of Remus’ arms and he wasn’t ready to do that yet. 

Remus ran his long, cool fingers over the bump on Sirius’ forehead. “We seem to have been trapped by our own prank, Pads.”

“Oh.” Iit took a moment for the implications of what Remus was saying to sink in to Sirius’ rattled brain, his eyes widened as he thought it through. “OH!” 

He heard James’ howling laughter get louder as he figured out that two of his best friends were going to have to kiss. Sirius finally twisted himself out of Remus’ arms and turned around in the confined space to face James. He was doubled over clutching his stomach as his laughter got so hard he started snorting. Lily was standing next to him with an impressive mix of disgusted, amused and concerned looks on her face. Remus put his hand on Sirius’ shoulder. 

“Come on Pad’s, I want to get out of here.” Sirius was unsure what was so funny about Remus’ comment but it made James laugh even harder (which he didn’t think was possible at this point) and fall on the ground as if his legs couldn’t support him anymore.

Lily grabbed James’ arm and tried to pull him up. “Come on James, let’s go. They can catch up when they’re free.” James managed to control himself at last but instead of standing up and walking away with Lily, he spun around and sat cross legged on the floor, elbows on his knees and chin propped in his hands, facing the two trapped boys. 

“Hell no! I’m not going anywhere! This is gold! I just wish I had my camera!” 

Sirius shot his friend a dirty look before turning around to face Remus. He looked nervous and kept shifting his eyes to look at Sirius’ lips. Sirius swallowed and decided he had to take charge. He was aware that he had an audience, so even though he wanted this to be serious he knew he had to make it look slightly ridiculous. He put a little smirk on his face and wiggled his way over to Remus, he slid his arms around the taller boys’ neck and felt Remus’ hands land on his hips. He figured it was a reflex because Moony had that stunned deer-caught-in-the-wandlight look on his face. Sirius knew he looked predatory but he just couldn’t help it. “Well Moony, what are you waiting for?”

The brown-haired boy still just looked stunned, so Sirius leaned up and gently pressed his lips to Remus’. The minute he did he felt like a lightning bolt had run through his entire body. He felt electrified. He lost all sense of where he was and who was watching as he pulled Remus closer to him and pressed his lips harder to the other boys’. He felt Remus relax against him and he started to kiss Sirius back. Remus’ lips were warm and soft, he tasted like the chocolate brownies they had eaten for dessert. Sirius decided to take a chance and ran his tongue over Remus’ bottom lip, Remus stiffened for a second before relaxing again and opening his mouth to Sirius’ tongue, Sirius deepened the kiss as he buried his hands in the long silky strands of Remus’ hair. He could feel Remus’ hands grasping handfuls of his shirt at his back and heard a small moan escape his throat.

Sirius was sure the kiss had become indecent for public viewing but he couldn’t bring himself to care or even to really be aware of where they were. The kiss just kept going until suddenly Sirius heard someone loudly clear their throat. Uh oh. He knew that sound. He pulled back from Remus, eyes wide. Remus still had his eyes closed; evidently he hadn’t heard the interruption. He was flushed and his breathing was fast and choppy. His hair was even more dishevelled than usual, thanks to Sirius’ fingers running through it. 

“Mr. Black, Mr. Lupin,” the voice said. That caused Remus’ eyes to fling open in horror. Sirius turned around slowly and came face to face with McGonagall. She had a strange, slightly horrified, slightly amused look on her face that Sirius had never seen before. The only looks McGonagall usually directed at him were rage and exasperation. “Even though there are few students remaining at Hogwarts for the holidays, this display is still inappropriate for any younger students that may happen to walk past. Might I suggest you both go back to Gryffindor tower?” despite being phrased as a question Sirius knew that it was an order not really a suggestion.  
He saw Remus nod his head beside him and glanced over to see him blushing furiously. He noticed that James and Lily weren’t anywhere to be seen and thought that he’d have to talk to James later, once he talked to Remus and determined what this was.

“Yes, Professor, sorry” Sirius mumbled as he grabbed hold of Remus’ hand and ran off. He was almost certain he saw McGonagall smile before she left in the opposite direction. 

“Right Moony, where are we going? I’m not sure about you but I sure would like to continue that.” Remus thought for a moment then smiled at Sirius. 

“I would definitely like to continue that, but first I have a little present for you.” He changed direction and started towing Sirius behind him. A few minutes of very fast walking later and they arrived at the statue of Boris the Bewildered, Sirius was grinning to himself as Remus leaned forward and said the password.

“Lemon-scented.” 

Remus walked all the way into the bathroom before he turned back to Sirius. He looked slightly uncertain but there was a hint of hunger in the green eyes that now contained gold flecks.

“Merry Christmas, Padfoot.”

Sirius stalked towards Remus, certain the predatory look was on his face again. “‘Lock that door Moony. We’re going to be here for a while.”

THE END


End file.
